Grounding Techniques

Practicing the Pause: Pausing is the first step in so many mental health support coping skills, The Stop technique, Radical Acceptance, etc. It is the first step in slowing down your activity, having enough space in your brain to become aware of what is around you, what is in you. Unfortunately our lives our jammed full of activity, school, work, internet, kids.. All day long our brains are spinning from one thing to the next. At some point, the brain and our soul need a rest. This is where the pause comes in.

Imagine this, you are in a busy store, loud music is playing, your kids are yelling “mom, mom!” you have just left a hectic day at work and you are stressed about a project that is due. Your nerves are on the last bit of patience. What if you had this magical pause button you could pull out and after a few moments you could feel more relaxed, more ready to take on the next thing on the to do list. You can! It isn’t magic. It just takes some practice.

When we pause we simply stop whatever we are doing – thinking, talking, walking, scrolling social media, planning, stressing, eating, and become totally present in that moment in time, attentive and, often, physically still. After the pause we go back to whatever activity we were previously engaged in, but now we have a better frame of mind or a new perspective.

Most of the time, the moment when we most need this pause is exactly when it feels most impossible to do so. Pausing when extremely angry, sad, or frustrated takes some practice and patience with yourself. When you immediately remind yourself to pause, a wave of fear might show up. Our brains are looking to control whatever emotion is pulsing through us and we fear that this emotion may swallow us up. But without stopping to pause, many times we will react from a place of fear or anger that inevitably doesn’t lead us down the right path.

So how do we do this? What does it feel like to pause? How do we make this a momentary vacation in the middle of that stressful store experience? Great questions! We learn how to put a few grounding techniques in our imaginary back pocket so that we can pull them out whenever we need them. The best part of this is that no one around you knows that you are doing anything other than standing or sitting.

Here are a few options, but there are many out there to try (search the internet for “grounding techniques.”) Some may work for you, others may not. Try them out and see what works for you.

Drawing around an object: Look at your hand and use your imagination to pick your favorite color to draw an outline around each hand. Start were the hand meets the arm and using your imaginary pencil slowly go up the side of your hand to your pinky and then make sure you draw around each finger and then go back towards the base of the hand. Repeat on the other hand.

When you are not able to focus on your hands, you can pick a spot off in the distance. Maybe it’s a street sign or clock you will imagine drawing around. When my husband and I were headed into getting our COVID tests, I taught him this trick. There was a square sign behind the testing tech that we each focused on while they were swabbing our nose. When he could see that I had become anxious during the swab because I had stopped focusing on the square and was focusing too much on the uncomfortable feeling in my nose, he gently reminded me “square” and I refocused my eyes and immediately felt better.

Object focus:: In my personal bag I keep my favorite beach rocks or shells that I find for this grounding technique. Look around your house for things that have a texture or are pretty or interesting to look at. Pop it into your bag for some time you may need a quiet pause.

Hold your small object in your hand and really focus on it. If I was looking at one of my shells I would see the patterns or colors that run through it. Some have lines or ridges of different colors going through them or shiny smooth spots. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers.

Cloud/Leaves Thought release: When we are anxious, it can feel like we are spinning thoughts around and around in our mind. One way to help with this is Cloud/Leaves thought release. Thoughts are just that, thoughts. They are not actions or truths, just a momentary spark in our brains. If we pay close attention to them, they can build and build until we are overwhelmed by them. Instead of spinning, think about just observing the thought in your mind. Think about putting that thought on a cloud and watch it float through the sky and away. Or, think about sitting at the side of a riverbank. Place a thought onto the imaginary leaf floating down the river and watch it float away. For each thought that comes to mind, allow that thought to take its place on a cloud/leaf and watch it flow away in the wind. Allow the thoughts to come and go, you don’t need to respond to them.

Energy Chair: Sit down in a comfortable chair, one where your feet reach the floor. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Breathe in slowly for the count of three, then out slowly. Bring your mind’s focus to your body. How does your body feel sitting in that chair? Make sure you are sitting right into the back of the seat so the whole length of your back is pressing into the back of the chair. Can you feel the contact between your body and the chair’s surface? If the chair has arms, touch it, is the material smooth or textured? Press your arms down the length of the chair arm, notice how your hands hang off the end. If your chair doesn’t have arms, touch the material on the seat, how does that feel?

Next push your feet into the ground, imagine the energy draining down from your mind, down through your body and out through your feet into the ground. Some people picture it as a color filling their body as it goes from the top of their head to their toes, but this is your image so choose whatever you want your energy to look like. As the energy drains from your head, feel how heavy each body part becomes, your torso feels heavy and now your arms as you relax those muscles. Lastly, feel the heaviness go down your legs, through your feet and down into the ground.

The Five Senses: Close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths. Then open your eyes and look around you. Either in your head or out loud you name- 5 Things you can see. (Examples: Your hand, a book, the TV.) 4 Things you can feel. (Examples: the texture of your sweater or the keys in your hand.) 3 Things you can hear (birds chirping, leaf blower, the wind in the trees.) All around us there sounds happening but typically we don’t hear them. 2 Things you can smell (Examples: Essential oil, your hand lotion, coffee.) 1 Thing you can taste (Examples: pop a piece of candy or gum into your mouth and really take a moment to feel and taste it.) Take another deep breath.

There are so many choices when grounding can help you ‘get out of your brain’ and bring focus onto something else to center your thoughts. I encourage you to try these when you are feeling only slightly anxious or worried so you can figure out which ones work best for you. Practice them so they are easy to utilize when you are really needing them.